Jim Sterch here from AriZona Iced Tea’s marketing department. I wasn’t going to write you this letter, but today I’ve received two emails from interns asking me to remark upon your most recent Terry Richardson photo shoot…So this is what I need to say…And it is said in the spirit of a dude whose job it is to sell giant aluminum cans of refreshing iced tea for the low price of 99 cents.
I am extremely concerned that we might not have enough inventory on hand to fill the massive orders we are getting in the wake of these racy photos. Whoever around you led you to believe that posing half naked with a can of AriZona Iced Tea is in any way “cool” is spot on. Their cool barometer, in this humble marketing guy’s opinion, could not be much cooler. Heck, I’d go so far as to say their cool-o-meter is set to, “iced!”
Nothing but sales will come in the long run from you holding one of our cans of delicious AriZona Iced Tea like a big, hard cock and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way costing us anything for this advertising. Thank you for taking a picture with the label out so people can see that 99 cents for a tall can of iced tea is a great value (even for you) and then also the thing where you hold it like a thick boner and stick your tongue out. Just fantastic stuff all around.